Quit playing games with my heart

I’ve shared a lot this year about how we can be a little too plugged in. Sometimes that’s the perils of social media, the burden of the internet, or general technology overuse in our world. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not tech averse (AI is one of my top 5 tools at this point), but I also don’t want to spend my life in front of a screen, especially considering my work hours all take place at a computer. 

Through trial and error over the past few years, I’m feeling like I’ve found a relationship with my personal tech use that works for me. We’re going to take a detour from our regularly scheduled programming this week to dive into this a little bit.

Remember, I’m not an expert, just a lady on the internet sharing what’s been helpful.

Social Media:

• No social apps on my phone

  • These social apps are only accessible on my computer, so I have to get up and pull it out of my office to engage. And the desktop version of these apps? They are not user friendly. It’s very easy to peruse the feed for only a few minutes, as many of the addicting features built into this technology are designed for a mobile device. 

• One-month breaks, quarterly

  • I ultimately don’t want to give up social media completely because I like seeing updates from long-distance friends. But walking away for a few weeks is a good detox. This is uncomfortable for the first few days. You find yourself reaching for an app for a quick hit. But it’s very soon that I realize I do actually have more time in my day. I read more books. I play more sports with my kids. I’m not constantly bombarded with other people's lives, so I feel more content with each day. I started with 2 months a year, upgraded to 1 month each quarter, and next year plan to do 1 month on, 1 month off.

• Mute with abandon

  • That girl from high school who was also on the tennis team? Bye. Aunt who I love but posts multiple times a day? Too much for me. Ex-partner of a college friend? See ya. I don’t need a daily update on these people’s lives, so I mute them. I can go find their page when I think of them and am in the mood for an update, but I don’t need the noise in my feed. Choose who you actually care about and get rid of the rest. I probably don’t get more than 10-15 pics a day in my feed, and it’s hard to keep scrolling when the junk fills in after 2 minutes.

• No new platforms

  • Most of my generation is on Instagram or Facebook, so I’ve just kind of decided not to participate in anything else. Unless everyone I know migrates en masse, I’m staying put.

General Tech:

• Go retro

  • Alternative title: Just use the library. My kids listen to CDs, not Spotify (and we avoid weird commercials). If there’s a movie or TV show I’m interested in, I request the DVD from the library (yes, new releases right now will still go to DVD) instead of buying the streaming service. I totally get that sometimes convenience wins out, but if you’re willing to put in a little more effort there are good free or cheap options out there, and it creates a slower pace of consumption.

• Kill the notifications

  • My rule: If it’s not work (during work hours), a text, a call, or Libby telling me a book hold is ready, it doesn’t need to alert me. Nothing besides these apps can talk to me unless I open it up. Why would my weather app need to interrupt me mid-day? (Also, when the app asks if it can track for ads? Hell no.)

• Pick up a craft

  • I totally get it, we all have shorter attention spans. It no longer feels entertaining to just sit and listen to music or an audiobook, or watch TV or a movie. So find something else to do with your hands. Crochet is great for this. Embroidery. Sketching. Whittling. There’s a million options for your interests. Getting into the flow of these things also reduces anxiety. If your hands are busy you won’t reach for your phone to simultaneously scroll.

• Ebooks

  • I’ve tried Kindle a million times, but ultimately I just like reading books on my phone. And when my choices are to doom scroll or read? It doesn’t always work, but having the option makes a difference.

If you’re thinking about your own tech boundaries, here are a few resources I’ve found helpful:

• Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport. This is a simple, straightforward read, and a great place to start on a tech detox journey.

• The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt. This is a book jammed packed with studies and anecdotes and wisdom. It’s focused on kids and parenting but I guarantee you will think about your own boundaries.

• Articles:

  • What is Analog Wellness?

  • Do you remember how life used to feel?

  • Regarding Email by Ann Patchett

And I’d love to hear what’s worked for you! Hit reply. Your tips might just become my next favorite boundary.